Crying over a Peanut Butter

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Hey there!

It's been quite a while since my last post. Many things has change, however I do feel that I am again at the same point as I've been in September. At August I broke up with a guy who was a narcisist and the relationship was really psycologically exhausting. When I look back at it, I think it was not so difficult for me to overcome the breakup stress, once I decided and really saw that the relationship was bad for me and my health.

About a month after a breakup I met very nice guy at the job. He was exactly my ex's opposite. We started slowly, since he was aware that I needed time and everything was just perfect. I found a person to talk to and I slowly fell in love with him. With him everything was so easy. People around us told me that we are made for each other.

The Breakup

Actually the last breakup hasn't really happened yet. But I am in that limbo, when I know it will happen, we are just avoiding the conversation. Actually he is the master of avoiding it. And I am not the person who can end something without really discussing it and trying everything to solve it. I really cannot just walk away and predent nothing happened. Maybe this is my problem. And I know it is, because it hurts me and it makes me angry not to be able to just walk away. Is this problem of every women or just mine?

Well, our beginning was great. I couldn't imagine it any better. I couldn't dream it any better. We've been friends for over a year and there was also that feeling of attraction. Of belonging. When we were togheter time flied. We could speak about anything. And the spark was there. I couldn't wish for anything more. Especially when he confessed his feelings. And kissed me on the beach under the moonlight. Like in a movie, right? Well, it hasn't lasted for a long time. After a very intesive start (and me beeing head over hills; honestly I cannot remember when it was the last time I feel over someone so much), the well known ''cave'' period came. If you don't know what that is, than better read the famous John Gray's book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. If you haven't heard about the book yet, I really recommend to get one, because it will help you to understand the other gender better and to improve a communication. You can get one here.